The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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