Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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