So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
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I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
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I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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