How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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