girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
