Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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