I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
