just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
