under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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