I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
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