i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
