BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize