new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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