drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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