If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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