Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
