Christians are straight up FREAKS
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Farmville is her only friend.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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