some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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