It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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