News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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