My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
