yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
