what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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