Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Even my vagina gasped.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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