I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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