I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
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You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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