Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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