I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
