Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
