he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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