Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
