he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
you would pick up someone in the library
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
