last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
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i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
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