He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
