He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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