its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Hippo gnu deer
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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