I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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