it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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