I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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