i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
