I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
