I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize