happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
