we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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