he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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