she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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