$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
false alarm. still invincible.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
