i need an iv and a liver transplant
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
