Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
So much Jack, so little girl.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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