Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
