We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
