better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
