i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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