That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
