i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
