I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
