Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
