Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
