ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
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We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
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He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize