guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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