whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
